The Matrix

What is the Matrix?

So I’m going to share my thoughts on The Matrix. First off, let’s just take a second to realize that this movie is nineteen years old. It’s in that perfect almost-but-not-quite-yet-old. I love movies that came out in the 2000s, especially action movies, because a majority of them weren’t that great and don’t have all that great CGI. That’s why gems such as this one are so, well, gems. Anyway, this article/random series of thoughts will be unedited, because we don’t have editors. So I apologize for the quality, but we’re getting better.

Let’s begin. I think I’ll do some questions followed by some answers. Here we go:

What did you think of the movie overall?

I thought it was thoughtful, but also had lots of action. I could be wrong, but this seems like one of the first movies to have both action and interesting philosophical ideas in it. That’s basically now a genre right now. Like Unbreakable, or many of the Batman movies (not Batman v Superman). Speaking of firsts, how about the fact that this is the first movie with slow-mo bullets and fast punches and all those techniques that are now standard-issue. I completely forgot to mention this, but this is the first time I’ve seen it. So whenever I was watching, I kept trying to put myself into the mind of a 1990s moviegoer. (It didn’t work, mainly because I was falling asleep a lot).

Oh sorry about that. Did you understand the plot?

As well as I could dealing with both falling asleep and trying to comprehend this incredible idea of

[SPOILER ALERT]

Aliens taken over the human race and farming them and controlling their brains. Even now I don’t understand it completely. Can you ever really? I also don’t know anything about the sequels, except that they’re considered inferior, so I don’t know if I should watch them. Anyway, yes the plot was confusing, but also at the same time completely understandable. It’s very hard for a movie to do that. Kind of like Get Out, were you both get the hypnosis and are very confused by the technique.

This movie very much falls into that category. What did you think about the action scenes?

They were awesome. Whenever the agents would morph into another person’s body, it was so neat. They would be so hard to fight. Also were do the agents get their training? Do they just get born as super-killer babies or whatever. This movie had way to much to cover in just one article.

That’s ok. Just talk about stuff you liked.

I was planning on doing that. Anyway, the action scenes were very cool. My favorite is whenever Keanu Reeves takes more guns than in all of Texas and demolishes the entryway to that building. I don’t understand why Carrie-Anne Moss didn’t take more than like the two pistols. But she also fought her way through the guards and used their own weapons against them so maybe she had it all under control. Also trench coats are super rad, and should be used in basically everything.

Yeah they should!

Glad you agree. Even though you’re just me. The computer’s in this movie are both old and new. Like we don’t even have those kinds of computer’s today. I would love if the Matrix were real, but it also seems harsh and unforgiving, so I don’t know if I actually want it to be real.

It would be very scary. Anything else?

I have so many thoughts on this movie. So I’ll just spout them out rapid-fire. Keanu Reeves is awesome and I didn’t really believe it until I saw this movie, Lawrence Fishburne is creepy and comforting at the same time, who knew that Elrond could actually be evil?, I want to blow up a building with bullets but not in real life, in the Matrix.

[Takes a deep breath]

Over the course of the movie I began to consider that this reality is the Matrix, and considered trying to do a flip, whenever I saw the red pill blue pill scene, I realized that I can’t swallow pills and would have to crush it somehow, and that this movie is amazing and I love it so much.

Holy smokes that was a lot of stuff.

Actually it was like seven things. But whatever. Now I’m going to go and ask: “What is the Matrix”. Bye.

[Picks up a ringing telephone and warps out]